I must be too annoying 4 u.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
