Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Two words: nipple clamps
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