just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
