We're like a lot better than the average bears
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
