Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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