Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
what day is it and did you see me today?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
