Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
time to smoke my breakfast
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
