We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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