oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
