you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
