Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
