Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize