My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
