My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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