I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize