Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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