this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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