i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize