when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
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