When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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