It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
