I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
