hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
