I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
