Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
