We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
