the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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