took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
