so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
