I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize