absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize