So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
