yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
