My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
