Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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