Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
