Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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