I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
