I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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