Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
