i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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