Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
