Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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