We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My nipple is on Facebook.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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