I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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