I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
