Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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