sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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