ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Drunk is not a location!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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