He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
