if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
