A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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