I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
