I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
