Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
