fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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