Duck Duck Cougar?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
