I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
