I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
