Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
